Curse of Loneliness
by Cerii-chan Kawaii
Summary: There is only one way to break the Sohma curse, and only Akito knows it. But he refuses. As the Sohmas live out their lives, will Akito ever love Tohru... and break the curse? Or will he die as king and doom the rest of the Sohmas forever?
1. Refuse to Love

The curse had stopped them from loving. It had made them cut off, withdrawn, self-conscious and controlling over their feelings. It had trapped them, trapped the young ones in the fear that they would grow up without love like the older ones, and the older ones in the pain of watching the younger ones become without love like them. In truth, all the turning-into-a-different-Zodiac-animal-when-you-are-hugged-by-a-member-of-the-opposite-gender was just a side effect of the real curse. The real curse of the Sohma family was loneliness.

Then came the girl that might change all that.

She was impossible not to like. She tried so hard, and was so happy when others were happy, that everyone loved her. Everyone. Except Akito. And everybody and Akito knew that the curse would not be broken until the head of the Sohma family found love.

But then Akito would lose power over his precious family kingdom. And so he refused to love her.

He refused to love her by hating her. It was the only way. He couldn't just let her be, ignore her, he had to hate her or she might slip into his heart.

So he hated her best he could. But somehow, he could never bring himself to say it out loud.

He hated her. He watched closely over the young ones, just in case they let themselves get attached to this horrible girl. And he warned the adults, though he was quite sure they didn't believe him, that she was a wicked spirit who seemed nice but would lure them into a trap and make them dance like puppets. Like the Sirens from ancient mythology. So that's what he started calling her. The Siren. Although he knew, in his heart, that Sirens could prove to be irresistible.

He tried to bring himself to order the Dragon to erase her memories. Erase all traces of the Zodiac; erase all fragments of the curse. It would be better, his reign would last longer if she were gone, if the threat was gone. But he knew he could never do that. There was still that one part of him, that one part that wanted to be saved…

And so, Akito let her keep her memories. He let her make friends among the Sohmas, and maybe more than friends. He let her live, as he lurked inside. Always inside, smoldering like a smoke bomb, merely hating her.

That merely was what defeated him. That merely is what saved him.


	2. Ordinary Evening

Tohru stood at the stove, hurrying around the kitchen amongst pots, pans and food, and beamed as she listened to Yuki and Kyo bicker.

"You kuso nezumi, you can't do that! Take that back, that's not in the rules!" Tohru could picture him standing up in indignation at whatever Yuki had done this time, face almost as bright as his hair.

"It is now," Yuki's voice stated calmly.

"What? You can't just add a rule! Take that move back!"

"Now now, children, stop flirting," came Shigure's voice, most likely from his desk in the corner. Most likely writing what Kyo referred to as 'hentai novels,' too.

"PERVERT!" Tohru winced as she heard the crashing sound of Shigure being thrown across the room by the two boys, wondering whether to laugh or worry.

"I'm okay…" came a dazed voice. Tohru decided to laugh.

The kitchen door opened, and Yuki walked in. "Koban wa, Honda-san. Are you all right?"

"Of course I am, Yuki-kun!" she smiled. "Dinner is almost ready."

"All right. Thank you." But he didn't leave. He stared at her.

She looked back at him curiously. "Did you… want to ask me something, Yuki-kun?"

Was that a… blush creeping across his cheek? "No, no, I'm sorry, Honda-san, I zoned out," he said hastily, his face now visibly red. "I must have stayed up too late last night doing homework."

"Oh, all right!" she said, trying to remain cheerful, though she was a bit confused. What was that emotion she had just felt? "Maybe you should go to sleep a bit earlier tonight."

"Yes…" he muttered, and turned around, closing the door behind him.

She watched the closed door for a moment, thinking. What could she have felt just now? Almost as if her heart twisted for a split second, too fast to tell what had happened but too slowly to escape notice. The kettle began to whistle, and she turned, ready to occupy her mind with other things for now. Let her ponder in bed later, at the moment she had a dinner to fix.


	3. House Arrest

A night alone in bed hadn't helped her thoughts, she realized as she stretched the next morning. A weekend. Kyo would be up already, Yuki dead asleep.

She dressed, and walked downstairs, careful not to make too much noise, lest she wake the Rat up. But when she reached the bottom, she found him already up, sitting in the living room with Kyo and Hatori, their faces stony. Shigure was gone.

"W-what happened, Sohma-san?" she asked, going back to her old name for him in her fear. "What's going on?"

Kyo and Yuki exchanged glances, for once agreeing on something, if it was only that they didn't want to be the one telling her. Hatori was the one who spoke up.

"Akito wants you memories erased," he said, his voice cold, without emotion. "Shigure's trying to persuade Akito not to. Swear not to tell Akito, but I hope Shigure succeeds. But in the meantime, you are not to leave this house."

"Y…yes, sir!" She sat down, hard on the piece of furniture that happened to be closest. "I-I won't move from this spot!"

Hatori, in spite of the less-than-ecstatic atmosphere, chuckled softly. Even Kyo and Yuki found themselves smiling a bit. "It's fine if you take a walk in the yard or the garden or something like that, just send Kyo-kun to do the shopping while Shigure's gone, okay? He might be a few days; Akito's rather sickly and might not want to see him. My orders are to guard you, but I trust you not to go too far. So I'll be leaving, all right?"

"Hey!" Kyo said suddenly, realizing that Hatori had said 'send Kyo-kun to do the shopping' instead of 'send Kyo-kun and Yuki to do the shopping.' "Why's it gotta be me? Why not the baka nezumi over there?"

"Because I'm not replaceable," said Yuki matter-of-factly. "There are millions of guys like you in the world. You're not important."

"HEY!" And Tohru thought, as she laughed along with the others, that if they could find a moment of happiness in such a gloomy time, that maybe, even if Akito erased all her memories, she could still remain friends with the Sohmas. If they could salvage this moment of happiness among the grim horizon, maybe anything could happen. Maybe she could find love.


End file.
